Principal Under Scrutiny After Defending Hall Monitors' Aggression Against Students

Written by Mac McKim

Wednesday, 1 July 2020

image for Principal Under Scrutiny After Defending Hall Monitors' Aggression Against Students
"Where did they get those riot shields?" asked students.

Michigan - Principal Andrew McAndrews is under fire this week after reports that he authorized the violent acts seen from his schools hall monitors during this week's football game, and has no intention of apologizing.

"We have to do what we have to do," said McAndrews, "It was necessary to maintain a safe environment. They know the rules, and need to follow them."

This is not the first supposed instance he has turned a blind eye to hall monitor brutality, either. He is reported to never follow through with reports of harassment from monitors, and openly denies having anything to do with the infamous crowd control tactics on Chili Dog Wednesday.

Shelly LaDuke, a sophomore, is leading the charge to speak out against poor conduct from the monitors. "They're supposed to just keep people out of the halls during class, though their power has extended far past that," she says. "They also carry police batons, which is absurd. Where did they even get those?"

Despite the push from students for hall monitor reforms, many people from the community openly oppose them. They state that the hall monitors jobs are hard, and they're just trying to keep students safe.

"These kids are asking for this poor treatment," says community member, Jeff Monroe. "If you're breaking the rules, you will get punished. That's how it's always been. My dad beat me for years, and I never cried about it. These kids need to suck it up."

When attempting to interview the hall monitors, I was met with "piss off, man, we have kids to bully!" No more information was shared.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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