Trump Flips a Coin, Democrats and Republicans Hold Their Respective Breaths

Written by Thelonius

Sunday, 12 April 2020

image for Trump Flips a Coin, Democrats and Republicans Hold Their Respective Breaths
When I said Heads I might have meant Tails. We’ll see what happens.

Donald Trump had a feeling in his gut which, as always, was able to tell him more than any expert has ever been able to.

He called Heads and said “I choose Heads, but I understand the other side very well also”.

Republicans rejoiced at the brilliance of the choice. They compared it to one King Cyrus from the Bible might have made. The Bible, by the way is Trump's favorite book, although he says it’s too personal for him to get into very many specifics, or any specifics, at all, about it. He has revealed, however, that he Iikes the Old and New Testaments equally well.

Evangelicals claim, as a result of Trump’s show of inventiveness and inspiration, the Rapture will come soon, very much like face masks coming to the American healthcare workers. Mike Pence wasn’t at all happy with the appearance of gaming here, but was reticent to mention it.

On the other hand, Democrats couldn’t believe the ignorance of the choice. Nothing, they said, could reflect on Trump’s unpreparedness for office more than a choice like Heads. “The last straw,” said Nancy Pelosi. “I have always believed in the sound judgement of the American voter except for in 2016, and I have no doubt they will see this for what it is.”

The coin was actually flipped by Mitch McConnell, who chose not to reveal the result. The Democrats took it all the way to the Supreme Court, where the Court decided 5 to 4 to support McConnell.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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