Written by Dracula

Monday, 26 November 2018

image for The final journey- Jesus loves you
The sort of images that will give the natives an attitude adjustment

A genetically, mentally challenged adventurer and delusional, Christian missionary has disappeared after visiting a pre-neolithic tribe on a small island, where he had gone to satisfy his final demise, local law enforcement officials said on Wednesday.

John Allen Chau, 26, of Vancouver, Wash., traveled to the Andaman Islands to make contact with members of the tiny Sentinelese tribe, police said -- an Indian territory in the Bay of Bengal.

The Sentinelese tribe, which has remained isolated for centuries, is genetically primordial, and cannot be civilized any more than wild chimps or lions. They react with hostility and violence to attempts at interaction by outsiders. Indian scientists have classified them as a living fossil. The island is off-limits to visitors under Indian law.

The fishermen that transported Chau to the island reported to police that they saw someone's body being dragged along the beach and buried in the sand, but they don't know if it was Chau's body. He never returned within the two hours he set for himself.

Sentinelese fathers mate with their daughters and brothers mate with sisters in an evolutionary effort to keep their kind alive. Indian scientists argue that their breeding behavior is beneficial to their small population by specializing successful genes that have adapted to the limited environment. They mate often, but can only produce one child every ten years. They have a high resistance to methyl mercury after eating sea food for over 60,000 years. They have kept their tall and muscular figures because of their specialized digestive tracts which breaks down and absorbs every type of protein and organic matter found in and around the island. Their bodies are highly efficient at processing muddy water and salty water which they constantly drink. Their physical structure, muscularity, bones, skin, and internal organs have been constructed by evolution to resist the demanding environment of the Andaman Islands. Breeding with outsiders would destroy them completely, as they would lose their ability to survive in their wild environment.

Officials say the government wants to keep them isolated to prevent their low intelligence, violent, primitive genes from spreading around the world as this will prevent millions of murders across the world. Their genetic, violent behavior was inherited 60,000 years ago at a time when predatory beast and prey were an enormous size. Their violent behavior protects their limited territory from other tribes and it originally reduced their population by infighting, stabilzing their limited resources.

Chau managed to convince the local fishermen that brought him to the island not to bring a male Bengal tiger that the fishermen wanted to release on the island in the event he were to be killed. The fishermen were hopeful the tiger would keep the tribe secluded to their hidden villages. Chau argued that the tiger would eat all the few remaining villagers on the island, destroying the rare Stone Age race.

A source with access to Chau's notes said Chau had taken scissors, condoms, tampons, braus, KY jelly, safety pins and a football as gifts to the tribe.

From aerial footage, police believe the scissors were used to mutilate Chau's testicles. Their drone took pictures of someone's testicles laying on the ground.

“I hollered, ‘My name is John, I love you and Jesus loves you,’ ” he wrote in his journal. One of the juveniles laughed and shot at him with an arrow, which pierced his waterproof Bible, he wrote.

"A waterproof book of Hollywood monsters and real world predators, to fill their dreams with nightmares forever is the best gift for the natives who are not aware what's beyond their island," said a police official, "they can't understand the difference between reality and fantasy."

“You guys might think I’m crazy in all this, but I think it’s worthwhile to declare Jesus to these people,” he wrote in a last note to his family on Nov. 16, shortly before he left the safety of the fishing boat to meet the tribesmen on the island. “God, I don’t want to die, but I know Jesus will give me the strength of Samson and the arrows will bounce off my body,” he last wrote.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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