Trump to Jump Over Man-Eating Shark on Waterskis at Next Rally

Written by Dave Henry

Saturday, 3 November 2018

image for Trump to Jump Over Man-Eating Shark on Waterskis at Next Rally
Will President Trump be able to jump over this man-eating beast? Tune in to his next rally to find out.

With Election Day right around the corner, President Donald Trump is pulling out all the stops to help fellow Republicans win their house and Senate races.

Today, when he makes a campaign stop in Florida, he's going to perform a death-defying stunt where he attempts to jump over a live man-eating shark on a pair of waterskis.

Vice President Mike Pence will drive the boat and Trump will be donning a leather jacket and small blue shorts to do the jump.

His fans will be lined up along the shoreline cheering him on. But some will wonder, what the Hell is he doing? He could hurt himself!

Trump is not worried though. "This is gonna be yuge. No president has ever attempted to jump over a shark on waterskis. This will make my fans love me even more and get Democrats to like me too. The ratings will go through the roof!" said Trump.

Some pundits think this could be a bridge too far for the president.

"I don't know how the public will react to this stunt. They have loved him, but lately his popularity has waned. He feels he needs to do something big to get the fans back, but I'm afraid this could be seen as trying too hard and could backfire. It could be the beginning of the end for Trump," said one Fox News pundit.

Not only that, tomorrow he plans to invite a new character to perform with him at a rally in Arizona. He's a little boy named Oliver, who has blond hair, big glasses, and a bowl haircut.

"He's just so cute and adorable and funny," said Trump. "People are gonna love Oliver."

Oliver will be used to try to endear Trump to women and Millennials, two demographics Trump has struggled to connect with.

And then on the final day before the election, Trump has one final surprise -- he's going to go on stage in Pennsylvania and bite the head off a bat. It's going to be a thrilling few finals days before the midterm elections.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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