Written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 15 October 2018

image for Trump Pays Elizabeth Warren One Million Dollars? Nah
"Pay her up! Pay her up! Pay her up!"

DNA test proves Senator Elizabeth Warren is a Native American. As promised by Donald Trump, Trump now owes the Senator one million dollars.

When told of the DNA results, Trump went on an eight-minute Kanye West rant. He claimed he never accused her of not being native American. Whatever is on video was misinterpreted. He actually didn’t use the word misinterpreted. He also said he never called her Pocahontas. If he referred to her by that name, it was to salute her native American ancestry. He actually didn’t use the word ancestry. Also, he certainly did not intend to ridicule her. Ridicule was not the same word used.

All the news channels, including CSPAN, are running Trump’s statements about Senator Warren’s heritage on a loop. On Sesame Street, even Big Bird and the Cookie Monster are discussing Trump’s reneging on the million dollar promise.

Except for FOX news. FOX news is concentrating on the royal family and the Harry/Meghan pregnancy.

Singing, I've Got You Under My Skin, Ronan Farrow skateboarded into Black Rock and up to MSNBC newsroom with a copy of the Elizabeth Warren DNA results. He also carried six film reels of Trump saying Senator Warren, “wasn't a native American," and calling her, "Pocahontas.” Adding Trump's promise of one million dollars if Warren took the DNA test.

The film reels were included in the news programs already running about Trump on television. Fox news switched from the Harry/Meghan pregnancy to winter flower arrangements.

Big Bird told Cookie Monster, “This is beginning to stink.”

Similar to the night Osama Bin Laden was taken down by Seal Team 6, people are gathering in front of the White House and chanting, “Pay her up! Pay her up! Pay her up!” Groups of people were also gathering in front of the Trump Tower in New York.

Fox News started a campaign on the GoFundMe platform for Trump’s million-dollar debt.

Learning about the GoFundMe campaign, Trump went into another eight-minute Kanye West rant, insisting he wasn’t broke, didn’t need GoFundMe, and wasn’t paying Pocahontas anything.

“Oops!” His exact word.

"It's a stinker."

Read more by this author:

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
50 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more