Written by Dave Henry

Monday, 16 July 2018

image for Trump and Putin Play Mini Golf in Helsinki
Trump got 18 holes in one with NO COLLUSION

Russian president Vladimir Putin and US president Donald Trump played mini golf Monday in Helsinki.

It was during their summit, the part where they were supposed to meet alone. The official business part of their meeting didn’t take long as Putin gave Trump his orders and that was that. With over an hour to kill they decided to duck out for some ice cream and mini golf.

“There’s this great little ice cream shop downtown that I always try to hit every time I’m in Helsinki,” Putin said. “The mint chocolate chip is to die for. Donnie loved it. I knew he would.”

From there they went to Otto’s Mini Golfatorium and Arcade and played a round of mini golf.

“I’m the greatest mini golfer in the world,” said Trump. “I once shot a 1 in mini golf, not a hole-in-1 but a 1. I hit one shot and it went into all 18 holes. It was incredible. The ball went in one hole, bounced out and then went into the next, and so on and so on. GREAT! That’s me.”

Trump ended up winning the match.

“Yeah. I won, fair and square. He didn’t let me win and there was NO COLLUSION,” said Trump.

Trump wound up carrying Putin back to the summit piggy back style on his back.

“I did it because I wanted to not because he made me,” said Trump. “I love carrying people on my back. I’m yuge and strong. Believe me, no one is better at carrying people on his back than me.”

It was a lovely time. They vowed to do it again the next time they got together to ruin the world.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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