Written by King Kong

Monday, 9 July 2018

image for Miss America pageant loses male audience
Carlson's choice of contestants

Past, elderly, Miss America beauty pageant winners are united in support of Gretchen Carlson, a former winner brought in to reform the pageant.

Carlson, also known as "Ebenezer" is a former Miss America 1989 and an early figure in the #MeToo movement and the sceptic feminist movement.

She classifies herself as a pansexual and says her male Mastiff, named "Squirt," is her only friend.

Carlson announced last month that the pageant was dropping the swimsuit element of the competition, to focus on talent.

She personally selected a group of female contestants which better represents the population.

Ebenezer, is also advocating for the inclusion of transgender, elderly, and handicapped individuals both physically disabled and mentally challenged.

State officials are pushing for her resignation.

According to data released Friday by the Nielsen Co. the Miss America beauty show has lost all of it's male audience.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
41 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more