Written by Dave Henry

Wednesday, 9 May 2018

image for Four Awful Mother’s Day Gifts to Show How Little You Care

It’s common knowledge that most people secretly dislike their parents, blaming them for their problems in life and resenting how they raised them. This, of course, creates challenges every May when Mother’s Day rolls around. You don’t want the woman who’s always called you ungrateful to think you’re ungrateful, so we’ve come up with some truly terrible gift ideas that will show her how little you care.

Nothing says I barely care like a bunch of empty words on a piece of heavy stock paper written by someone else. And to really say you don’t care, you can by a cheap card at the Dollar Store for 99 cents. Why not show that mom who did nothing but criticize how little she means to you by essentially giving her a piece of paper with your name on it..

Another horrible gift is a candle. Studies have shown that literally no one on earth likes candles. In fact, a recent survey by Pew Research said 0 percent of the world’s population likes candles. Just knowing the woman who said you’d never amount to anything will angrily stuff that unused candle in a box in the attic should give you some degree of satisfaction.

A gift that will surely be thrown in the garbage shortly after its opened is creams. Hand creams, face creams, body wash, and others are perfectly useless gifts that will cause most mothers to groan with disappointment when they unwrap it. What better way to direct a thinly veiled slight at the mom who always made you feel that your friends were better than you were.

Chocolates are a gift that shows her you put literally zero thought into your gift. You can walk into any drug store or supermarket and grab the first box of chocolates you see. And if you really want to show her that you didn’t go out of your way, you could grab a handful of candy bars at the convenience store. These are just a few awful, thoughtless gestures to express those bitter deep seeded feelings you have for mom on Mother’s Day.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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