Trump: A Russian Impersonator

Written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 19 March 2017

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The news media has been ignoring the obvious truth since Donald Trump called Mexicans, "…rapists and murderers." The candidate was controversial, provocative and sold money making advertisement for television networks. Sure, money talks, ratings went up, but were networks making a deal with el diablo?

The guy in the funny hat and long red tie, who made capricious statements, didn't seem to represent the proper candidate for any American political office. His speeches were filled with personal insults: ugly face, low energy, little Marco, lying Ted, crooked Hillary, and Pocahontas. These speeches had no substance and programs were never presented; except for the wall.

Hate speech captured the mean-spirit of the electorate chanting: "Lock her up."

Morning news allowed Trump to telephone and ramble on and on about how brilliant and knowledgeable he was, "Trust me. I know better than the generals…" or "I'm smart, really smart, I know how to do things…”

Fareed Zakaria said Trump was full of bullshit.

Close, but no cigar.

The real Donald Trump isn’t in the White House. The real Donald Trump is being held prisoner in a dacha, on the outer reaches of Siberia, so far north, he can see Alaska from his outhouse.

Following the Russian Miss Universe contest in 2013, the real Trump was kidnapped, is living on a diet of vodka and fish, repairing plumbing, keeping the sled dogs fed, and praying to make it across the Bering Strait to Alaska and freedom.

Trump is skinny now, has six-pack-abs, shaved off the hair nest, remains clueless about being elected president, thinks all of his investments have gone kaput, (frequently reminded of that evening at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton) but he still wants to get the hell out of Siberia.

How else could you explain the limited vocabulary of the present White House occupant and his repetitive use of superlatives?

Second graders learned that hear has an ear in it, and you don't tweet: "I hearby..." instead of "hereby". Clearly a Russian error.

Comey has plenty of explaining about how he helped to elect a Russian as the present White House occupant.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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