German Shepard Puppies Commit Suicide After Receiving Names From a Toddler

Written by Catchthisdrift

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

image for German Shepard Puppies Commit Suicide After Receiving Names From a Toddler
Jennerson's cat "Princess Moonray": not distraught over suicides.

Colorado Springs (Denver Post): Four German Shepard puppies apparently committed suicide yesterday after their owner allowed her two and a half year old toddler to name the dogs. All four puppies jumped out an open window, ran six blocks, and threw themselves in front of a train.

Cheyenne Jennerson, the dogs' owner, bought the puppies four weeks ago from a local breeder. A self-described dog lover who already owns nine other dogs of varying breeds, she said she believes naming a dog is "a sacred process."

According to Ms. Jennerson, "naming a puppy is not something to be taken lightly. It isn't a trivial thing. A person has to get to know the young one, experience it's spirit, connect on a deep level. Only then does the name become apparent."

Jennerson said she has been teaching her daughter, two and a half year old Montana-Sky, to love dogs and realize that they are not pets. Says Ms. Jennerson, "I'm teaching Montana-Sky that we don't own our dogs, we share life together, we each enrich the other."

She said she believed it was time to let her daughter take the first "beautiful steps" towards becoming spiritually one with her friends, the dogs that share her life.

Although she now believes she rushed her daughter's journey, at the time she "thought Montana-Sky was ready, I thought she understood."

The four male German Shepard puppies raced from the Jennerson home to their ultimate deaths after receiving the names "Disney Princess", "iPad", "Your Father Never Understood", and "Fart Knocker". Ms. Jennerson believes the name "Fart Knocker" came from prompts from her son, eight year old Redwood-Forrest.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more