Written by Amy McGuire

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

We figured out what's behind the obesity epidemic plaguing liberal woman everywhere. AND it's not what you think..

Liberal millennial women from all walks of life have decided to put their differences aside and work together seeking answers to the question that seems to be on every liberals lips as of late.

Why am I So Fat?
Who can I blame for my late night GMO cravings and failed vegan diets?

The answer for most people is a simple mathematical equation. Calories in minus calories out equals leftover calories waiting to congeal on your hips.
Seems obvious right?
Not anymore!
You no longer have to accept blame for anything negative that is clearly your own fault.
Liberals did some digging of their own, and what they found out is shocking!

"The science is clear", says self proclaimed man hater/ feminist Mary Ellen Bryzinski of San Francisco CA. "Donald Trump is behind this huge spike in fat asses and muffin tops and must be held accountable for this national Heath crisis"

Mary Ellen is the first to use science in an attempt to put blame on President Trump for every problem known to man, and says Trumps excessive TV interviews and hourly press conferences are to blame for her thunder thighs and huge butt. Specifically citing the SET POINT theory which she interprets as "when I sit down and watch a TV SET, the POINTS on the scale go up" She went on to further explain what she calls common liberal logic which is a tendency to stuff your face with twinkies and ho hos while watching your shows in the Telly"

While she admits other issues might be at play she says she's certain that Trump is the main reason she is fat.

Mary Ellen says she will March on Washington and is currency planning her 76th protests for this year. Her hopes remain high that Trump will resign his presidency, because the nations Heath depends on it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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