UK schools are crap

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

image for UK schools are crap
Pupils excited to be on their way to North Korea

Secondary school pupils in the UK are falling behind their international counterparts. Pupils have slipped down a global league table in reading, maths and science, based on two-hour tests taken in 65 school systems around the world.

The Government warn that it will give rise to "educational tourism" and see the once-proud learning system simply disappear.

Education Secretary Michael Gove said, "We've already seen several mass defections resulting in those schools closing. The pupils are now studying in Djibouti and are doing well."

One parent we interviewed told us, "We knew the UK system was rubbish. My son came home from school looking all excited. He said he'd got a B on his reading test, but when I looked it was a sodding D. We sent him to Singapore."

It's not just English where we're falling behind. Michael Gove commented on one case he was told about in an history lesson. "The teacher had asked them to discuss the great rulers, and every single pupil opted for the Helix 30cm shatterproof. Ergo, mass defection to Nigeria."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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