Row over Amazon sales of paedophile advice guide

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Thursday, 11 November 2010


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Phil McCrackup researching "The Bender's Pub Guide"

The BBC reports that Amazon, the online shopping shop, has just withdrawn "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover's Code of Conduct" following complaints and threats to boycott the site.

The author, listed as Philip R Greaves II, argues that paedophiles are misunderstood and purports to offer advice to help them abide by the law.

Amazon refutes the suggestion that they are promoting criminal acts by selling the publication, saying that they will not embrace censorship. However, I note that the book is no longer being touted.

Reporter, Phil McCrackup, has spent the last 24 hours looking at publications for sale on the shopping site.

Clearly in line with their attitude of non-censorship Osama bin Laden's tome, "A Beginner's Guide to Jihad: First Steps in Kidnap and Beheading" is available in the "Self-Help" section. Randy Udderway, spokespersonnage from Amazon, claims that, whilst they decry the message of the book, Mr. Bin Laden has as much right as Enid Blyton to be published.

"The Rapist's Bible", including sections on finding the perfect bush to hide in, avoiding personal injury to your penis and a fold-out knitting pattern for balaclavas, is available in usedformat from as little as £3.99, including a "Wipe Down" cover.

Phil McCrackup also uncovered a series of pamphlets on "Waterboarding in the Kitchen" and "Torturing your Pet". These sell for little over £1, with free postage.

Randy Udderway was later unavailable for comment due to his office being set on fire. ("An Arsonist's Dream" was found buried in the ashes)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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