Despite Cameron's commitment to looking after the "poor, weak and slovenly" of his new Kingdom, the Conservatives are already demonstrating that these unfortunates are at the forefront of plans to start recouping the country's huge cash deficit.
A disabled man from Cornwall has been told by the council that he would have to pay more than £3,000 to create a disabled parking bay outside his home.
Despite the fact that Cornwall Council said it accepted he was eligible for such a bay as a vehicle blue badge holder, they added that they currently had no money for any one-off bays in the county.
This "stealth tax" is going to recoup hundreds of millions of pounds by making the country's invalids walk miles to do their shopping, a Tory insider told The Spoof. "Clearly signs and lines cost the taxpayer billions of pounds a day and we hope that our careful use of paint will help the UK reduce its debt problems."
Mr. Armand Aleg, the gentleman involved, has commented, "I really hate these people trying to push me around. I'm fed up with my life looking like a cheap version of Robot Wars."