Free Cocaine for student voters

Written by ExiledRoyal

Monday, 26 April 2010


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Free Cocaine for student voters

The Liberal Democratic Party, famous for their liberal attitude towards recreational drugs, are promising "at least" a couple of grams of Bolivian Marching Powder to every student who agrees to vote LibDem on 6th May.

Sniff O'Tooter, the party's Drugs Zsar, told us, "Yes, we know Coke isn't a solution unless you dissolve it in water, but it's a lot safer that sniffing petrol."

Students are advised to make sure they snort it up their noses, however, as cocaine in the eye could be considered arrestable under the "Misuse of Drugs" act.

Mr. O'Tooter said, "We've enlisted the help of Amy Winehouse and Pete Docherty to make a video, enabling Drugs Virgins to safely self-medicate."

"Voting Conservative," Mr. O'Tooter opined, "will cause MASSIVE problems, but with cocaine I promise you that you just won't give a shit."

To register, text "Gimme a line" on 00000, or log onto "Highasakite.LibDems.Org."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more