Free Cocaine for student voters

Written by ExiledRoyal

Monday, 26 April 2010

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The Liberal Democratic Party, famous for their liberal attitude towards recreational drugs, are promising "at least" a couple of grams of Bolivian Marching Powder to every student who agrees to vote LibDem on 6th May.

Sniff O'Tooter, the party's Drugs Zsar, told us, "Yes, we know Coke isn't a solution unless you dissolve it in water, but it's a lot safer that sniffing petrol."

Students are advised to make sure they snort it up their noses, however, as cocaine in the eye could be considered arrestable under the "Misuse of Drugs" act.

Mr. O'Tooter said, "We've enlisted the help of Amy Winehouse and Pete Docherty to make a video, enabling Drugs Virgins to safely self-medicate."

"Voting Conservative," Mr. O'Tooter opined, "will cause MASSIVE problems, but with cocaine I promise you that you just won't give a shit."

To register, text "Gimme a line" on 00000, or log onto "Highasakite.LibDems.Org."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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