Nick Griffin, of the Bloody Nasty Party, was recovering in hospital today after a total face transplant went horribly wrong.
Griffin had intended to change his image in line with the BNP's push to make it less "scary" to the average person in the street, but despite the best efforts of surgeons the result is a dismal failure.
"To be honest," Dr.Keith Myath, chief surgeon at Face/Off Hospital, Birmingham, admitted, "it's left Mr. Griffin pretty much like he looked before, freaking weird."
Dr. Myath said, "We were trying a whole new approach. Rather than use the face of a dead person, we attempted to graft a part of Mr. Griffin's own body onto his face. This included substantial areas round Mr. Griffin's anus. However it soon became apparent that his arsehole was rejecting him."
Nick Griffin is now considering the possibility of a sex-change instead.