Wednesday, 24 September 2008

image for Howard from Halifax bank ads gets execution reprieve
Happy Howard from the Halifax

Howard Brown, the famous bank clerk who made a name for himself appearing in Halifax Bank adverts, won his appeal against execution from the charges brought by the Actors union.

In an unprecedented move, the union dismissed Brown 2 years ago because his "acting and singing brought shame to the union".

After he appealed against the decision Mr Brown, of Sheldon, Birmingham, was in fact further charged with the more dangerous act of "tapping into the heart and soul of mums, grans and kids in a sycophantic attempt to make himself more popular", a crime that recently saw Noel Edmonds relentlessly tickled by a feather in the Tower of London.

The union was upset at the decision and told reporters outside the court "We feels that we must make a stance against such poor talent and we can only conclude that the jury must have succumbed to this heart rendering joviality on display by Mr Brown and his happy band of cohorting jesters"

Mr Brown though was naturally relieved with the decision despite being sacked a few months ago as the Halifax's front man;

"It's grate news innit" he said in a thick [as pigshit] Brummie accent "specially ferall the mums, grans and kids out there who luv mi cheery wey"

Asked what his plans were next, he said he was going to be the new front man for a new cereal launch 'Credit Crunch Munch' in an effort to brighten up breakfast time in Britain during the current economic downturn.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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