Kids Say Brad Pitt is Pinned Down Good

Funny story written by Erickson 2

Sunday, 21 March 2021

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Pitt denies he looks masculine and aggressive and is scaring the ladies.

The Once Upon a Time in Hollywood star, Brat Pitt, is on the lam after his kids testified against him.

"Dad did it!" yelled little Shiloh when leaving the courthouse.

Pitt's oldest son, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, testified against his good old dad during a lengthy trial with heated accusations coming from both sides, causing laughter in the court. It's reported Maddox told the judge his dad's computer was password protected, causing an outburst of more laughter in the courtroom.

"Brad knows best to remain silent and be thought a fool, rather than to speak out and remove all doubt,” says Jolie, causing reporters to laugh.

In new court documents that were filed under seal on March 12, the actress alleges she is prepared to offer "proof and authority" against Pitt regarding her claim of personality disorder, during their upcoming divorce trial. According to court records, Jolie also filed another document under seal on the same day, regarding testimony of their kids. Jolie and Pitt share six children together -- Maddox, 19, Pax, 17, Zahara, 16, Shiloh, 14, and twins Knox and Vivienne, 12.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s Ups and Downs started when Shiloh complained to Angelina that Pitt started yelling at Maddox after Maddox emptied a box full of wall tacks on the floor without picking them up, and a few minutes later several penetrated into Pitt's right foot whilst he walked shoeless in the house. The kids broke out laughing watching Pitt jumping around like a kangaroo.

"I woke up at midnight after feeling creepy, and saw my dad sitting on a chair in my bedroom reading a Dr. Seuss book, 'The Sneetches and Other Stories'," says Maddox.

A nanny reports that little Shiloh also has several personal gripes against Pitt.

"I can't get privacy in the house with dad always peeking around to see what I'm doing," says Shiloh.

It was reported that Pitt walked into the kitchen and drank a cup of milk that Vivienne had poured for herself after experiencing thirst, with Pitt saying "I'm sorry, I thought you poured that for me." Vivienne then stomped out of the kitchen angry.

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right," says Jolie.

“Zahara and Vivienne have already given testimony in the ongoing custody dispute, and it wasn’t flattering,” a source exclusively tells Gossip Weekly.

Zahara complains that Pitt used her soap bar without telling her, and that she ended up smelling like toe fungus.

Little Knox wants to legally change his last name to Jolie removing the surname Pitt, which Angelina has said she "doesn’t support" and "I would rather he wore a paper bag over his head."

“The Los Angeles Department of Family Services cleared Pitt of any allegations almost immediately upon getting paid 25 million dollars, under the table, from an undisclosed source," an insider tells the press. It's reported that there are cases of people who've done absolutely nothing and yet have been convicted in America's judicial system, whilst the government sacks the public for trillions in taxes every year without fixing the system - a typical story that has recurred for over two centuries.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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