A report by the Birmingham Constabulary has given the 'green light' to drug-driving.
In a surprise announcement this morning, Inspector Mike Anabispliff said, "We've probably been concentrating too hard on clamping down on weed smokers. The fact is, that they get into far fewer crashes than people who are drunk. They're usually a good-natured bunch, and would go the extra mile for anyone ... usually because they've forgotten the way."
Local man Biff Toker told us, "Yeah, man, it's, like, true, like. I mean, like, how much damage can you do, like, when you're driving at seven miles an hour, like? Wow, a traffic light. It must be, like, Stoptober, like. Or 'Can't remember December', like. Hehehehe."