Jury Required For Up-Skirt Pervert

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Tuesday, 1 September 2020

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Sometimes justice is better-off blind

Reading Crown Court have taken the unprecedented step of advertising for a 12-person jury to try a local man.

Normally, if someone gets a jury summons in the post, they must respond within 7 days. You will be part of a jury of 12 people to decide the outcome of a criminal trial. Jury service usually lasts up to 10 working days.

However, the trial of pervert Mike Gusset is proving problematic.

Gusset has been charged with 17 counts of taking up-skirt photographs in Primark, mostly during the months of June-July 2020. The problem has arisen where every juror so far chosen has refused to take part, due to the horrific photographic evidence that they are being asked to look at.

One juror, who has asked to remain anonymous, told us,"It was terrible. I've never felt so sick in my entire life. It wasn't always easy to tell what we were looking at, but it's put me off going into a butchers shop for life. Several of us fainted ... and I screamed at one in particular."

Court Clerk Terry Bullstink added that the judge was considering whether to allow blind jurors for the first time in history, there to judge the accused on heard evidence alone. He said, "It's asking the public to look at things that, by right, should never even be talked about. I've seen one or two, and there are no words ... just ... no words."

Potential jurors can expect to receive a bonus payment of £750, and access to a counsellor for 'as long as it takes'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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