Bournemouth man sentenced for lying naked on grave

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Monday, 24 August 2020

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Grave where DaBotoffit was found

Bournemouth Magistrates Court have sentenced a man for lying naked on a grave in the town cemetery.

Seventy-one-year-old Roger DaBotoffit, of Hearne Avenue, Poole, pleaded guilty to two counts of outraging public decency in Bournemouth Cemetery in June this year.

Police Sergeant Mike Offins-Browne told the court that DaBotoffit was found naked in the cemetery on June 18th 2020 within full view of members of the public.

"He was lying full length on a grave, completely naked, exposing his genitals and buttocks to passers-by."

Local resident Sue Potato, 66, told the court, "I was walking through the graveyard on my way home, when I heard this sobbing noise. When I found out where it was coming from, I got the shock of my life, seeing this man showing his meat and two veg. I called the police."

Sergeant Offins-Browne told the court, "When we arrived, we could hear the man crying and repeating, 'Why did you die, oh why did you have to die?' He was clearly very upset. I asked him whether the person was close to him, and he told us that he'd never met them."

The sergeant told the court that he'd asked DaBotoffit why he was crying. "He told me it was the grave of his wife's first husband."

DaBotoffit was given a suspended sentence and fined £150.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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