Students at Southampton University have been studying Minke whales found in the English Channel. Worryingly, due to the relative thinness of the ozone layer, many of these whales are suffering from advanced sunburn.
Professor Mike Lickingsound said, "This is certainly a cause for concern. Imagine the impact of hundreds of David Dickinsons swimming round our shores."
David Dickinson is the scary orange man from the BBC's Bargain Hunt. The bobby dazzler himself admits that his orangeness is because he's half-Armenian, and goes on four or five holidays a year. He looks like he's been dipped in ketchup.
In addition to the sunburn, it's a little known fact that, if one of these uber-tanned Minke whales was laid onto a tennis court, the game would be cancelled, and the whale would die.