Dunkirk Revisited

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Saturday, 15 August 2020

image for Dunkirk Revisited
One married couple heading home from France

Yesterday, the UK Government advised all Britons holidaying in France that they would have to quarantine for fourteen days if they returned after today.

This has led to a mass exodus from Calais. Or, at least, an attempt to do so.

Ferry services have been inundated with families attempting to get a boat back across the Channel.

In scenes not replicated since the Dunkirk evacuation of ‎26 May to 4 June 1940, a fleet of private craft have been sent to try to ease the panic. From small boats to Paddle Boards and little Ducky Pedalos, there has been a constant stream of humanity mingling with asylum seekers splashing across the 20-mile channel.

Several of the larger vessels are offering entertainment.

There are also a number of Pirate ships involved, which, allegedly, have a higher proportion of Covid-19, hence a particularly high ARRRRR-number.

We interviewed one man who appeared to have arrived back in Dover before anyone else. Mike Ewslittle told us: "I got fed up waiting in line. So I just started to cough loudly, shouting that it had got massively worse since I got back from China, and they stuck me on a hovercraft."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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