Jacob Rees-Mogg accused of watching porn in the Chamber

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Friday, 7 August 2020

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Tennis or Porn? You decide

Viewers of the Parliament Channel were startled this morning, when it appeared that Jacob Rees-Mogg, Leader of the House of Commons, was watching pornography on his smartphone.

It happened during Prime Minister's Questions. Boris Johnson was at the Dispatch Box delivering a withering attack on Labour protests at his handling of the Covid-19 pandemic, when he was suddenly drowned out by a woman's voice grunting and moaning.

Mr Rees-Mogg tried to put his phone away, but dropped it on the floor. The noise of screaming and panting got louder, and he was forced to kick his phone under the benches.

Sir Keir Starmer asked whether Mr Rees-Mogg was watching Pornhub. The reply was that he had dialled in to watch some tennis, and the noise was actually the Williams brothers playing a celebrity match.

As his phone went silent, Rees-Mogg was asked, "Is that the end of the game?"

"No, it's buffering," he stammered.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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