Liverpool woman finds garden lawn vanished overnight

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Monday, 3 August 2020

image for Liverpool woman finds garden lawn vanished overnight
Gladys Hairdye's lawn

A woman was left in disbelief after she woke up to find her garden lawn had disappeared.

Mrs. Gladys Hairdye, from Fazakerly, said, "My lad went into the garden this morning, and he said: 'What's happened to the turf?'"

An entire lawn's-worth of the green herb had been stripped away, leaving nothing but brown.

"I can't understand it. We'd put pots at each corner to hold it down, so it can't have been the wind."

Police were called and the theft reported. Later in the afternoon, they attended the Scally's Arms pub in Netherton, where a man, now known to be Barry Sodpicker, was reported pushing a wheelbarrow full of turf into the Public Bar and attempting to sell it for £7.50. When questioned at Netherton Police Station later, he told them that it was a gift.

Mr Sodpicker said, "I've got an amazing gift that enables me to find things just before people lose them."

The police, however, insist on calling it theft.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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