Radio 1 - 53 years of more of the same

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Saturday, 1 August 2020

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Radio 1 or a Tumble Drier?

Next month sees the iconic radio station's 53rd year. First broadcasting on 30th September 1967 it all started so promisingly. Born out of a decade of youth rebellion, psychedelia and pirate radio, the first complete pop tune to be broadcast was The Move's 'Flowers In The Rain', and was presented by the ever-cheery Tony Blackburn.

So where did it all go so wrong? In terms of music style, it all seemed to seize up somewhere in the mid 80's.

Prof Mike Tinnitus, expert in Modern Culture from Imperial College, London told us, "The sad fact is, although the Radio Station has been broadcasting for over 50 years ... musically we've only had about 10 years of anything that was vaguely listenable. That was years ago. Since then you can get the same effect listening to saucepans in a tumble drier."

Kelly Deffgurll, 16, told us."Our neighbours have been listening to this week's #1 Joel Corry ft Mnek for the last three hours. They've been pounding on our thin wall again screaming for me to turn it down. We've got Jawsh 685 & Jason Derulorca, Rockstar Dababy ft Roddy Ricchinterscope and Nathan Dawe ft Ksiatlantic to come before they play Joel Corry again. Can't wait!"

Mike Tinnitus continues, "When I first began my studies I actually phoned Radio 1 up to complain. I thought that they were playing a scratched record that had got stuck. It went on for five days. They told me that it was the current version of 'Now 997'."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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