UK & EU Summit interrupted by Laptop Grot

Written by Eurocleese De Zouch

Tuesday, 4 February 2020

image for UK & EU Summit interrupted by Laptop Grot
I have yet to see a physical keyboard with a big Brexit button on it

A meeting of minds between the United Kingdom and European Union delegations at the EU's Brussels bunker, was rudely interrupted by the disturbing images of several deviant acts that were randomly splashed on a big projector screen at random intervals, during these crucial talks.

Head of the EU delegation, Michel Barnier, was midway through a pre-prepared speech regarding the reintroduction of Betamax tapes, and how important they were in regards to the future relationship, when the UK delegation's laptop, which was still connected to the big screen behind Monsieur Barnier, started to fart out unadulterated filth.

In an attempt to shut the foulness off, officials from both sides tried to pull out the power, but it seemed that all the cables had somehow glued themselves into the laptop, and the power outlet had got dangerously sparky.

The first scene that came onto the screen, involved a toilet plunger and a bowl of soup. The second showed an owl covered in shaving foam, with its head near a ladies armpit.

"It was horrific," said one erotic bystander, but utterly captivating. I never knew that you could do that with a blade of grass...but I guess you can..I must talk to the UK delegation, to see where they got that video from, and study it relentlessly...in the vain attempt to outlaw it, probably.."

Several people in the room attempted to sing Chris De Burgh's smash, yet awful hit, "Lady in Red" in time with the groans that were pouring out of the laptop speakers, but it actually sounded like strange, heavy panting, and made the situation, much, much worse.

A colleague from Estonia resorted to cover over the haunting images using his suit jacket, but it didn't prevent some offensive material from poking through. Another official, believed to be a bod from Cyprus, got his main wank hanky out. However, as it was badly stuck together, it made matters worse. A loose bra was also used to cover the obscene scenes.

It is now believed that relations between the UK and EU delegations are at an all-time high, with both sides spending their nights together, swapping internet muck between them, and singing dirty songs into the small hours.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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