'Frail' Prince Philip now only able to communicate via ship-to-ship Aldis Lamp

Written by Johnny Shlep

Wednesday, 28 August 2019

image for 'Frail' Prince Philip now only able to communicate via ship-to-ship Aldis Lamp
An Aldis Lamp pictured being used during the war

A source close to the royal family yesterday revealed that the Duke of Edinburgh now has to communicate with family members and servants in the royal household via a ship-to-ship Aldis Lamp.

The frail Duke, now aged 112, can no longer speak, other than to utter the odd cuss word, and now uses the lamp exclusively from his bath chair or horse and carriage.

The palace insider told Majesty magazine: "The Duke even uses his Aldis at the dinner table and got a rather lengthy telling-off from the Queen over dinner last week, when he temporarily blinded her while complaining about the consistency of the plum pudding."

The Duke's current plight mirrors that of Tsar Nicolas II of Russia, who, in his later years, had to make small talk at royal functions via Morse Code.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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