Spoof writer finds human remains in drawer of Writers Desk

Written by Johnny Shlep

Friday, 23 August 2019

image for Spoof writer finds human remains in drawer of Writers Desk
Human remains pictured during happier times

A new member of the writing team on The Spoof online humour site has revealed that he discovered human remains in the top drawer of his writing desk just hours after joining the community last week.

Toby Dell, 35, a forklift truck engineer from Whitechapel in East London, told newsmen: "I'd only been a member for a couple of hours and was just familiarising myself with the mechanics of the site, so to speak.

"I opened the drawer of my Writers Desk and found a human skull along with a skeletal foot and what looked like part of a femur.

"I also found a handwritten note which simply said: "I can't go on. Tell the wife and kids I'm flat broke, so there's no point in getting too excited at the reading of the will. All the best. Colonel Juan"

"I can only assume this poor chap crawled into his Writers Desk after taking his own life by overdosing on sleeping pills or something.

"I've reported the matter to the site's owner, Mark, who has apologised and promised me a new desk straight from the factory in a few weeks"

This latest incident is the 3rd unexplained death connected to the ill-fated site.

In 2010, former Spoof contributors, Clive Danton and Les 'JaggedOne' Johnson were found dead from gunshot wounds to the chest.

Their bodies were discovered round the back of the site's offices, stuffed into two dustbins.

A police spokesman at the time said: "It's what the other writers would have wanted"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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