Jacob Rees-Mogg hospitalised following disastrous romp with blow-up sex doll

Written by Johnny Shlep

Thursday, 1 August 2019

image for Jacob Rees-Mogg hospitalised following disastrous romp with blow-up sex doll

Controversial Tory MP, Jacob Rees-Mogg was admitted to a London hospital last night, after a kinky romp with an inflatable sex doll went disastrously wrong.

Arch-Brexiteer Rees-Mogg received a number of injuries, after the doll exploded when he leapt on top of it wearing spiked underpants.

A spokesman for The London Ambulance Service said last night: "Mr Rees-Mogg was in a bad way when our crew found him.

"He was suffering from blast-related injuries, and had deep bruising to his back, after hitting the ceiling following the explosion."

Rees-Mogg was taken to The Royal London Hospital in Whitechapel, from where a spokesperson reported that he was 'doing well and has been sitting up abusing foreign members of staff in church Latin'.

This latest incident is the second recent sex-related injury sustained by a Conservative MP, and comes just a week after former Party leader, Ian Duncan Smith, had a vibrating love egg surgically removed from his colon after an incident in his home, when he allegedly, "sat down on it by accident".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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