HEATWAVE LATEST: Tempers flare as temperatures in Scotland top 9 degrees

Written by Johnny Shlep

Friday, 26 July 2019

image for HEATWAVE LATEST: Tempers flare as temperatures in Scotland top 9 degrees

There were ugly scenes in a number of Scottish cities, including Glasgow and Dundee, yesterday, as the mercury soared to an unprecedented July high of 9.8 degrees celsius north of the border.

Scuffles broke out at a number of open-air pools and lidos across the country, as sweltering Scots queued in their hundreds to break the remaining thin layer of ice that coated the facilities.

In the Govan district of Glasgow, tragedy struck when a 22-year-old male perished from hypothermia after taking a dip in the Clyde to escape the searing heat.

The Met Office has now issued an amber weather warning, and has advised Scots to take extra precautions during this unprecedented hot spell.

"Our advice is to dress sensibly for the conditions and to keep at least one warm jersey on, especially during the late afternoon when temperatures could climb to as high as 11 degrees celsius," said a Met Office spokesman.

"Avoid fighting with open razors when the sun is at its strongest, drink plenty of fluids, and try to restrict alcohol intake to no more than the equivalent of a dozen cans of Tennant's Super and a bottle of Buckfast Tonic Wine."

Temperatures are expected to return to the July average for the country at the weekend, with light snow flurries, and a nagging northerly wind expected to bring temperatures down to a more manageable -2 degrees by Saturday evening.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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