Jacob Rees-Mogg to be appointed Minister of Deceit

Written by Johnny Shlep

Wednesday, 24 July 2019

image for Jacob Rees-Mogg to be appointed Minister of Deceit

It was rumoured last night, that staunch Brexit hardliner, Jacob Rees-Mogg, will be appointed Secretary of State For Deceit in new Prime Minister, Boris Johnson's first Cabinet reshuffle later on today.

This will make the Old Etonian backbencher responsible for issuing ludicrously optimistic statements about the United Kingdom's fiscal outlook post-Brexit, as well as brazenly denying any semblance of government responsibility for the dire economic consequences as a result of a disorderly Brexit, should one take place.

Speaking from outside his Surrey home last night, Rees-Mogg told newsmen: "All of this is purely conjecture and media chatter, but if I were offered the position, I would welcome the opportunity of hoodwinking the electorate by issuing a constant torrent of misinformation and downright falsehoods whenever the situation called for it."

When questioned about whether he would also be prepared to gloss over the new PM's alleged domestic violence issues, as well as his constant lying and overt racism, he jotted down the name of the journalist concerned in a small pocketbook before declining to issue any comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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