Prince George teachers sworn to secrecy if he has a naughty shit in the corner

Written by Johnny Shlep

Monday, 22 July 2019

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It is understood that the teaching staff at Prince George's first school have been asked to sign a pledge of secrecy which forbids them from making it public if the young royal has a mischievous shit in the corner of the classroom, or accidentally soils himself because he was too busy playing to ask for the toilet.

The 6-year-old prince is now in his second term at Thomas's in Battersea, South London along with 540 boys and girls aged between 4 and 13.

His parents, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, are believed to want their son to receive as normal an education as possible, but are understandably nervous about the press getting wind of news that he's behaved badly or has accidentally shit himself.

The secrecy pledge is also believed to contain a clause which forbids staff from going to the papers if George gets his knob out at the back of the classroom and starts playing with it in front of the little girl sitting next to him.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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