'Stand-offish' Meghan refuses to allow newsmen to listen while she goes to the bathroom

Written by Johnny Shlep

Saturday, 6 July 2019

image for 'Stand-offish' Meghan refuses to allow newsmen to listen while she goes to the bathroom
No royal wee. A defiant Meghan pictured last night

The Duchess of Sussex attracted more press criticism yesterday after she requested privacy when she goes to the toilet.

Under-fire, Meghan, was slammed by journalists who were refused permission to listen at the door while she went to the bathroom.

A spokesman for The Financial Times, one of the newspapers concerned, said last night. "This is the type of stand-offish behaviour that attracts criticism and puts all black Americans in a bad light.

"We never had this problem with Princess Diana, who was more than happy to invite the media to listen to her on the toilet.

"She would even leave the door open on occasion, so we could take a few shots of her pulling her knickers up for the gossip columns."

The Duchess's press office issued a statement last night: "The Duchess has requested that the press afford her some privacy while she goes to the bathroom.

"She feels that it would be undignified for her toilet noises to be made public, particularly now that she's a mother."

Meghan's stance mirrors that of the Queen Mother, who, in 1953, barred newsmen from hiding behind the curtains during her sex romps with King George VI and their Red Setter.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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