Tosspot Walked Four Miles, Then Walked Back Again

Written by Mister Meaner

Tuesday, 28 May 2019

image for Tosspot Walked Four Miles, Then Walked Back Again
Aimlessly wandering: Reg

Drama in East Yorkshire at the weekend, when well-known local tosspot, Reg Gittens, decided to take a short stroll up the road from his house to 'stretch his legs'.

Once on the road, however, Gittens mind drifted off, he lost his focus, and eventually ended up traipsing more than four miles through a council estate, a private residential area, past the Hull city boundary, the Royal Springhead Golf Course, the suburban village of Willerby, and out into the countryside.

On his way, he stopped at a newsagent's to buy a bottle of Lucozade to wet his whistle, and was horrified at the 59p price.

"Stone the crows!" was his reaction.

Undeterred, he strode on towards the picturesque and somewhat 'snobby' hamlet of Cottingham, which is mentioned in the Domesday Book.

Passing several charity shops, he went in each and made purchases in all.

Now tiring, he made for home, ambling along, taking his time, thinking deeply about what was for tea. As he neared his house, Gittens saw his next-door neighbour, Jack Smedley, on the other side of the road, coming back from Tesco, where he'd bought a newspaper.

Jack asked, "Where y'bin?"

"For a walk," said Reg.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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