Sex robot gives birth to infant hoover

Written by Johnny Shlep

Thursday, 2 May 2019

image for Sex robot gives birth to infant hoover
Push now, PUUUUUSH!

Doctors at The Royal London Hospital in Whitechapel in East London, have announced that a robot designed for sexual purposes has given birth to a Henry the Hoover.

A spokesperson for the maternity unit told newsmen that the robot was admitted yesterday morning suffering from an issue with the circuitry around the abdominal area, and gave birth to the 5lb 6oz hoover just an hour later.

Robot and small cleaning device are said to be doing well and will be returning home tomorrow following wiring checks and a routine service.

The robot's owner, James Dyson, CEO of the successful Dyson hoover manufacturing company, was said to be 'taken aback' by the news.

"You f*****g what?" he exclaimed to reporters from his home in Singapore.

It is believed that the pregnancy may have come about after Dyson lent the robot to his friend, and fellow Brexiteer, Jacob Rees-Mogg, who owns a Henry and may have left the two alone in the cupboard under the stairs.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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