Written by Dracula

Saturday, 13 April 2019

image for Julian Assange wants to create a Parody News site

New Wave News: Julian Assange says he plans to open a fake news site similar to the National Inquirer after his last stint went terribly wrong, embroiling him in a firestorm of false accusations and arrest warrants.

He wants to runs a parody website designed to fool readers with fake news stories based on realistic circumstances, like Papua New Guinea's 'Couch Potato' project, based on a robotic app that gathers live streamed pornography videos watched by prominent Middle Eastern leaders and British parliamentary ministers. His news site is to be named "National Wiki-mania Lampoon."

Assange says he wants to run a fake news story of Hezbollah's money network that launders millions of dollars of drug money across multiple countries to help finance the terror group.

The "Onion" parody news corporate president says Assange will give Tom Clancy a run for his money.

"Shark-nato" the nickname of a real life journalist, who wants to partner up with Assange, says he wants to introduce two spy stories to Wiki-mania.

The first story is about a Chinese whistleblower named Dr. Chang who releases a collection of documents that open up a corrupt multi-billion dollar operation by Al-Qaeda and ISIS companies that grab uranium and other mining rights in the Central African Republic (CAR) and escape paying for the environmental consequences. The parody story talks about detailed maps of mining rights, mining contracts with illegal kickbacks and secret investigative reports. The second story is about a secret organization that wants to change the world with ideas about new government structures, new constitutions, new laws, new schools, new prison systems, and new economic systems.

During our interview Assange logged onto his website and began to invent his first news story of the day.

"BREAKING," he wrote, pecking out each letter with his index fingers as he considered the possibilities. Maybe he would announce a Swedish fashion model had died during a secret overseas mission to smuggle more terrorist into Europe. Maybe he would award President Emmanuel Macron the Nobel Peace Prize for his courage in addressing climate change.

Assange says he wants to make positive changes in his life to stay away from problems.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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