Agatha Christie is officially the World’s Biggest Liar

Written by Dracula

Tuesday, 1 January 2019

image for Agatha Christie is officially the World’s Biggest Liar
"My cat is not gay, he's an eccentric fashion designer," says Agatha Christie

Reality News: It takes a great deal of honesty to become the World’s Biggest Liar, and that's how Agatha Christie won her championship trophy.

Agatha Christie tells reporter, Dean Cabbage, what it means to win the most difficult contest in the world.

As Cabbage sits down for a chat in a musky back room of a commoner's Lake District pub, it quickly becomes clear Christie is going to be a hard lady to believe.

"I suppose your name isn't really Agatha Christie?" says Cabbage.

“I might not give you an honest answer,” Christie says with a twinkle in her eye. “I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” Christie then convinced Cabbage that he unknowingly sat on a £50 pound note, making Cabbage look at what he sat on before realizing it wasn't true. She has, after all, just been named the World’s Biggest Liar.

The World Biggest Liar contest is held at the Bridge Inn in Santon Bridge, west Cumbria, every year, and locals and tourists from every corner of the world, attempt to tell the most outlandish tale in eight minutes without the use of a script.

The mother-of-three, Christie– a real estate agent, lawyer, street peddler and tarot card reader, known to her friends as 'Convincing Liar' – has just won the title for a fifth time with a story about a hidden kingdom on the moon and a flock of sheep that turn into women.

“It’s the fifth time I’ve won this. I was robbed of the title last year by a Chinese man, but this year feels good," says Christie.

Last year's winner was a Chinese man named Min Yingjun, who told a five-minute tall tale of how he kidnapped a child in the village of Chengping in Henan Province, shortly before 8 a.m., then turned the child into a gingerbread cookie with a magic wand. He was so convincing, a feminist in the crowd yelled at him, "You know you did it, it's not a lie!"

The host of the contest said, "Mr. Yingjun, you really jumped over the moon on that lie," before awarding him with the trophy and declaring him the best in the world.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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