Written by Dracula

Saturday, 24 November 2018

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image for Lady Gaga married a stray dog in India to ward off evil spirits

"Namaste India!" said Lady Gaga in her first conference with local villagers during her visit to India. She took the opportunity to express her love for the country, its people, and its traditions.

The local guru managed to convince Lady Gaga to marry a stray dog in a village ceremony to help ward off evil spirits that have brought bad luck to the village.

The wedding was hastily organised by village elders, and Lady Gaga was taken by surprise. She wed the canine in a lavish ceremony.

She was then led into a mud house where the stray dog consummated the marriage. Two days later she visited an Indian hospital with an infection to her groin area.

The baffled dog, Sheru, a stray found by the guru, was brought to the wedding in a chauffeur-driven car, and welcomed by revellers.

The hesitant Gaga said: 'I married a dog because the village elders believe that my evil spell will be passed on to the dog.

'After that is done, the evil spell is destroyed.'

'And marrying a dog is the only way to get rid of the bad luck.'

And amazingly, this is not the first time that a lady has wed a dog in the village.

The guru added: 'Many weddings like this have taken place in our village and also the other neighbouring villages. This is a custom that we thoroughly believe in.'

Lady Gaga posed with her stray dog husband.

'Villiagers say that many women like me have followed this ritual and are living happy lives now,' said Gaga.

At the wedding ceremony, people danced to traditional drumming, while around 70 villagers attended the wedding.

'Apart from the fact that the groom is a dog, we followed all customs. We respect the dog as much as we would respect a normal groom,' said the guru.

'We had to spend money on this wedding in the same way as we would in a normal wedding. But that is the only way we can get rid of our bad luck and ensure the benevolence of the village.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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