Britannia's bid to become a man left in ruins

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Friday, 19 October 2018


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Britannia weighs her new balls

It has been over two years now since the UK's referendum on whether national symbol Britannia should remain a woman, or should become a man. The vote for the sex change narrowly won, but still we are no closer to seeing her with a cock and balls.

The "transition period" was due to begin next March, but the UK surgeon general Geoff Blade has declared that it is not possible. He explained, "Britannia is a woman, with ovaries and tits. We can remove those and stick on male genitalia, but they will only give the outward appearance of being a man. Inside, Britannia will be as she has always been - a woman."

Prime Minister Theresa May has been negotiating with the surgeon to bring down the price of the procedure, and was annoyed at his insistence that it could not be done.

"Britain voted for this change," she said. "If someone says it can't be done, then that is just traitorous. The will of the people must be respected."

Man-campaigner Geoff Garage has been accused of misleading the public by saying that it would be easy and cheap. He is currently in hiding.

Fellow supporter of the man campaign Boris Johnson dismissed the negotiations. "We shouldn't get bogged down in the harsh realities. The decision was purely symbolic, and it should be enacted in that way."

Some groups are asking for a second referendum, where the two choices would be between Britannia remaining as a woman, or becoming a mangled freak with an unusable penis.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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