Complaints about Dr Who rise

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Monday, 8 October 2018


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In the new series, the police box has been renamed the Retardis, to match its viewers' IQ

This weekend, the new Dr Who, Jodie Whittaker, began her role as the famous sci-fi character. However, there are many people who are unhappy that a woman is playing the part for the first time.

The character of Dr Who "regenerates" regularly, allowing a new actor to take over the role every few years, and allowing the BBC to milk the same story for over 50 years.

Geoff Tardis was disgusted at the idea of a woman playing Dr Who. He said, "I can tolerate a time lord being able to travel to any place and time throughout the universe, and to regenerate his body and change his face, appearance and personality. But growing tits? That's just ridiculous."

Arse Trumpton had a similar misogynistic view. "There are too many women on TV already," he moaned. "What next? Are they going to read the news?"

Other viewers had a different complaint about the female Doctor, in that, she was too sexy. Joff O'Rection argued, "I can't watch Dr Who anymore now. She turns me on so much, but I can't have a wank when there's Daleks in sight, it's just wrong!"

People of other persuasions had their own reasons for hating the new Doctor. Gef Homo is a gayer, and said, "I used to enjoy watching Terry Grizzle, the elderly clown doctor from the 80s. With the last few Doctors, I can just close my eyes and imagine it's still him, but I can't do that anymore. I'll have to go back to wanking over the Antiques Roadshow."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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