Brexiters' new tactics of mutilation and extortion

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Wednesday, 11 July 2018

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Mogg - what happens when necrophile politicians are resurrected

In the current apocalyptic and grisly political landscape of the UK, Jacob Rees-Mogg has proven himself as deranged as any serial killer. Every day for the last week he has ordered one of his Brexiter minions to sacrifice himself/herself by resigning. He has then posted a part of their body to Prime Minister Theresa May.

Mogg has said he will continue with the daily ritual until the government changes course on Brexit. "We must have the f..f..f..f..Brexit we desire," he hissed. "Or else..."

So far, Boris Johnson and David Davis are the highest profile Brexiters who have been ordered to quit by creepy medieval dungeon-keeper Mogg. Each of them offered a toe to Mogg so that he could continue his psychotic plot.

The PM appears not to have been persuaded. Although she now has enough Conservative body parts to build half a Warwick Davies, it is thought that she is baking them into a pie to serve to Mogg the next time he visits 10 Downing Street.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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