Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 30 June 2018

image for Woman Reporting Murder Was Given 'Police Crime Number'
Your crime number: Friday 5879. Have a nice day, madam.

A woman who reported what turned out to be a violent murder to police, was told by a switchboard operator that there were no officers available to attend to her 'situation', whereupon she was given a 'crime number'.

The woman, who wishes to remain nameless because she doesn't want to become the subject of another crime number herself, rang 999 in Manchester, after she spotted three men assaulting another man from her high-rise tower block flat on Friday evening.

A spokesman for Manchester Police told us:

"We received a call from a member of the public just after 8pm, but because that is a very busy time, we had no officers in the area, and none available nearby. In strict accordance with our agreed guidelines, the situation was explained to the caller, and a police crime number was given.

The murdered man has not yet been identified, but residents say that, because of the local drug wars, it's believed the killing was drug-related.

This is not a real story, but you'll be hearing real ones like it very soon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Police, Crime




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
43 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more