Written by Johnny Shlep

Monday, 12 February 2018

image for Yahoo Mail to be blown up by demolition experts

Troubled email provider, Yahoo, is to have all its accounts destroyed in a controlled explosion later on today.

It is understood that 5 tonnes of plastic explosive will be used in the operation, which will hopefully clear a space on the internet for the expansion of more successful providers, such as, Gmail and Outlook.

The blast will take place at 15.00 GMT and Yahoo clients are being advised to remain logged out of their accounts during the operation.

The East London demolition company carrying out the work, Dell Tracy Ltd, issued a statement last night: "We advise all Yahoo email users to stand at least 300 metres away from their laptop or device while we carry out the explosion.

"There may be a limited amount of falling debris, such as fragments of adverts and photographs, but hopefully there will be minimal disruption and danger to users.

"Although people who haven't cleared down their inboxes for a while may have to dust a few stray viagra ads and the odd piece of weather forecast debris from their keyboards and screens"

Yahoo clients will be hoping there's no repetition of the tragic events of 2005 when 5 internet surfers lost their lives and more than a hundred were injured during the ill-fated demolition of Google +.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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