Death by Lambrini

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Saturday, 11 July 2015

image for Death by Lambrini
An ice-Cool Cherry Lambrini this afternoon

A mother and daughter from London have been accused of 'a Christmas day plot to murder London bus driver with poisoned Lambrini'.

Jacqueline Patrick, 54, has been charged with attempting to murder her husband Doug, now 72. Allegedly she slipped anti-freeze into his festive glass of cherry Lambrini.

He was stretchered out to his own double-decker, parked outside their 2-up 2-down in a small London side street, and driven by a neighbour to Geezer's Hospital, where staff suggested that his condition was 'not freezing ... warming up nicely'.

Old Bailey Judge, Justice Sir Clifford of Richardson, said this morning, "Floor cleaner or even household bleach would be more humane, but using Lambrini is simply evil."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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