Tony Blair resigns as Middle East peace envoy

Written by ExiledRoyal

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

image for Tony Blair resigns as Middle East peace envoy
Blair congratulating himself on another fiscal killing

The former Labour prime minister was appointed as one of a Quartet of powerbrokers to represent the United States of America, United Nations, Russia and the European Union in the Middle East after leaving Downing Street in 2007.

Amid a constant howl of criticism over his delusions of adequacy in the role, Blair has managed to hang on to the job for nearly 8 years, with very little to show for it.

Aides point out the setting up of an Ice Cream stand on the West Bank, which enables Jewish settlers to indulge in a cornet whilst watching Palestinian families being forcibly removed from their homes.

He also helped boost tourism in the West Bank town of Bethlehem, by introducing an 'Holocaust Theme' to the supposed birthplace of the Baby Jesus, to "even things up a little between Jews and Gentiles."

Prior to the announcement of his quitting the post, Blair gave a speech at Oxford University this afternoon, in support of Israeli Air Strikes on Palestinian Laundrettes, ending it the way Blair always ends his speeches, by saying, "Thank you for listening. That'll be £200,000."

And during a dinner, raising funds from Right Wing supporters in the United States last night, Blair is said to have commented that there is a 'shortage of common sense' right now in the world, at which point the people who paid £5,000 a plate for their dinner applauded in agreement.

An award at the same dinner, made to Tony Blair by 'Save The Children' has also been heavily criticised.

"I was robbed," said runner up, King Herod the Great.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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