Dale Farm evictees seek rehoming

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Sunday, 13 November 2011

image for Dale Farm evictees seek rehoming
Traveller Nobby Twat defiant in defeat

Evictees from the illegal part of Dale Farm travellers' site in Essex are going to the High Court to demand to be rehomed in caravans. The clearance of the UK's largest illegal travellers' site, in Crays Hill, is nearing completion.

Former site residents John Sheridan, Barbara O'Brien and Mary Flynn are seeking a ruling against Basildon Council from the Appeal Court.

The council said it would not comment until the full hearing next month.

However, off the record, council member Mike Aravansrank, told us, "The irony is not lost on us. Are they travellers or not? If so, travel on. I mean, you're not much of a traveller if you've been in one place for a decade."

So far police at Dale Farm have evicted 604 travellers, although they share only two surnames.

Mr. Aravansrank gave us the agenda for the last day of clearances which begin in the morning.

7.00am - Plot holders get detailed eviction schedules

8.00am - Wall built around camp with all inhabitants inside.

11.00am - Call made

11.30am - Napalm dropped from three Harrier GR9 ground attack aircraft.

3pm - Bulldozers called in to clear what remains.

5pm - Tea and medals.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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