Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 2 November 2008

image for Lewis Hamilton Penalised For Being A Negro
A solemn-looking Lewis Hamilton tonight

The world of Lewis Hamilton was in tatters tonight when, after finishing fifth in the Brazilian Grand Prix at Interlagos, the British driver had his Formula 1 crown dislodged from his bonce, after the FIA imposed a 10-minute penalty on the British driver for being a negro.

Hamilton, who has had several questionable penalties lodged against him the season, could not believe it as he was summoned to the FIA office at the circuit only to be told he was "a little too off-white" for the sport's liking, and was given the ludicrously-harsh penalty.

Hamilton drove a careful race, and secured the fifth position he needed to secure the title from race winner Felipe Massa, who, although he is Brazilian, is not an out-and-out negro, and would not have been penalised had he become champion.

The British driver looked distraught at the decision, but drew strength from his father, who has read about it all this kind of persecution before in Roots by Alex Hailey.

Hamilton's McLaren team considered an appeal, but decided that, in the light of the struggle Martin Luther King once had, the mere idea was futile.

Motor Racing isn't really a sport, is it?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: F1, Lewis Hamilton

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