Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 14 October 2018

image for FA's New Fairplay Scheme: Teams That 'Should Have Won' To Be Awarded All Three Points
Who the fuck uploaded this huge picture?

The Football Association has announced that, in order to "address the perceived unfairness in domestic football", it will introduce a new scheme whereby teams that 'should have won' will be awarded the three points.

The scheme will be operated by the FA, in a way similar to the Pools Panel. Three FA officials will watch each match, and decide who should have won. If there is any kind of dispute or dissatisfaction with the outcome at the end of the game, the Panel will adjudicate.

Initially for one season - next season, 2019/20 - and in the Championship only, the scheme will be reviewed in summer, 2020.

The phrase 'should have won' is so often used by team coaches, that the FA decided there must be something they could do to prevent teams who didn't deserve to win games, stealing the points.

England coach, Gareth Southgate told reporters after his team's 0-0 draw in Croatia:

"We should have won."

Armenia coach, Poer Luser, said the same thing after his team had 78% of the play against Gibraltar last night, and had a staggering 35 shots on goal, but still ended up losing 1-0. He said:

"They should not have won, especially after we played the wrong National Anthem for them."

The FA says that this is an ongoing experiment, and that other common managerial moans such as:

"We desrved more out of the game"
"We deserved at least a draw"
"We deserved something out of the game"
"A draw would have been a fair result"
"We didn't deserve to lose"
"We were robbed"
"They've got away with murder"

will also be given due consideration, especially if the team lodging the complaint is either Chelsea, Manchester United, or Arsenal.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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