Snooker player John Virgo to come out of retirement

Written by Bill Skywalker

Monday, 30 April 2012


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Virgo promises to be 'Snookering you tonight' with his return

Snooker legend John Virgo has shocked the sporting world today after he announced that he is to come out of retirement and return to the snooker table.

Virgo, 66, who during his original 20 year snooker career won a grand total of 0 world ranking events follows in the footsteps of such fellow sporting heavyweights as Lance Armstrong and Michael Schumacher who in recent years have returned to the sports they've become famous for. In recent years Virgo has commentated on the sport for BBC Sport.

Virgo said that he'd been thinking of coming out of retirement for 'many years':

'I sat in my BBC commentary box and thought "I can have these guys". The chance to play and most likely beat the likes of O'Sulliven, John Higgins and Judd Trump was a temptation too well as the opportunity to get away from that wank stain Willie Thorne'.

Asked whether returning to the sport would be a good idea Virgo replied that 'I'm famed for my aim so you better believe I'm right,' pushing aside any doubts as to his ability.

However fellow professional snooker player and BBC commentator Steve Davis expressed doubts about Virgo's return to the sport. 'I worry about this decision John has made' said Davis, 6 time world snooker champion. 'Obviously if he succeeds he'll be fully justified but I really do fear he's risking the monumental legacy he left the game and that he will just turn into a Saturday night tea time joke for us all....again'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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